Caring for Our Parts | With Dr. Richard Schwartz, Founder of Internal Family Systems

Caring for Our Parts | With Dr. Richard Schwartz, Founder of Internal Family Systems

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Foreign [Music] [Applause] Things about your work is that you never Do anything without the permission of The of the person's inner guidance so if Somebody is being Um evasive of a question you know Therapists might come up and say hey You're evading that question I need to I Need to confront you I need to talk to You about that there's an energy that The therapist can bring to help bring Something to awareness that the person Might not be aware of Your approaches a little bit differently Right can you say a little bit about the Role of permission Well we have these what I call Protective Parts the critically one And then we also have these parts that Have been hurt really badly and because They got hurt and now they carry all the Pain from the traumas yeah we what I Call Exile them inside and the Protectors are trying to contain those Exiles and also protect them from Getting triggered uh so what I learned The hard way early on was to go to these Protective Parts first like what's Called resistance and other things and Approach them with respect and just say I get that this is a scary idea of going To these very vulnerable places we're

Not going to do it without your Permission well but if you were to open The door to that we could heal a lot of What's in there and then you'd be Relieved of this job and if you didn't Have to do this job being the critic What would you like to do instead and You'd be amazed because it's often Exactly the opposite of what they've Been doing for 30 years yeah around Trauma it seems there's a protective Voices or protective energy that's been Developed by the person to survive right Around that trauma right so if I hear You right that protect whatever's been Protecting it and whatever patterns have Come up to protect it whether it's Defensiveness or whatever need to be Understood and have compassion towards Them yeah so we work with first show Them appreciation for it's like uh the Army or the military you know for their Service And then ask what it is they're Protecting and then go for permission to Go to that and change that we don't Expect these parts even parts that Suicidal or parts that uh have you Addicted to something we don't expect Them to change until what they're Protecting has been healed wow wow okay And what do you find is the key Component to change and we've worked With people 35 years in this model and

There's a lot of people here who I know Have done various kinds of therapies and Practices what in your years and years Of work is like a key component that Helps to support transformation is that When we turn towards what we thought was The enemy and making our friend is that Yeah is that how would you describe that Meaning to use this line for a while but As I was saying to the Dalai Lama a few Months ago That part is happy now finally got it Got there it's a nice setup Um I said you tell us to go with compassion To our external enemies why not go with Compassion to our internal enemies so This is one of the basics of the Approach is Find if you love what's in your way it Will transform So and most of us Try to get rid of it or or and don't Appreciate it right and that could be Physical pain that could be an inner Critic that could be whatever we think Is the problem yeah all those basically Most of our thoughts and emotions are Manifestations of these parts and all Kinds of symptoms are Um and yet you asked about the key to Healing Early I discovered that if you can get These parts to separate in open space

This other person emerges who knows how To heal them and can take over your Session And has qualities like calm compassion Curiosity all these called the eight c Words of self-leadership And spontaneously To a part they hated like I had you get Some parts to step back and focused on The critic was I'm just sorry that it Has to do this suddenly out of the out Of the blue with no practicing they Suddenly have compassion for this part And they know how to relate to it in a Way that's that's going to help it relax More beautiful

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  • James Quinto

    James is a content creator who works in the personal development niche.

    https://quietmeditations.com james.quinto@quietmeditations.com Quinto James

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About the Author: James Quinto

James is a content creator who works in the personal development niche.