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Foreign Began developing tools for myself and my Life another of them was this idea of Hardwood grows slowly there is no Shortcut to a great To a great Peace of Mind hardwood trees Grow slowly they have a beautiful shape They're resilient they don't blow over In storms softwood trees grow very Quickly and they fall right over I wanted to be a hardwood tree and so What did that mean for me and so I Remember drawing out this tree and going Okay my root system are my values What are my values what kind of person And I would do my deathbed exercise my Deathbed as a 15 year old Look back on my life and go who is the Who's that woman that that's dying and Looking back on her life and what is she Proud of and who does she want to be and Who is that woman And I wrote down adjectives to describe Her and I realized those were my values And so I started doing an audit every Day because I knew that if I I acted Every day in accordance to those values I was guaranteed to have this Compass This true north that I was following so That the end of my life I would be the Person I wanted to be because our lives Are so busy and we get so distracted and There's so many things that we're Dealing with
That I found this self-audit at night or Once a week really really helpful and Now with a five-year-old being able to Say life is a forest what is your Compass and he says my values and I say What are your values And he's come up with his own little set Of values and they kind of change and They grow and we kind of go through Every day without shame because if you Shame yourself you don't actually get to See yourself There has to be enough emotional Internal safety and internal permission To go oh yeah I didn't live my value When I did this and I can do that better Tomorrow like what you gentlemen said About Shoot I'm forgetting the words you used It was re what was it respect What is it respect respect yeah re look At yourself Um it's basically that the ability to Create enough safety inside yourself to Re-examine and redirect and recourse Every day and the willingness to do that Very long-winded answer to a long Question but Um the point I wanted to come back Around to is this idea I had that if I Was hyper vigilant Put me in my head as a 15 year old I Wanted to avoid pain I was wanted to Avoid becoming a statistic what I
Realized as a 40 year old woman that was Writing her memoir Going through a divorce Um Was that it wasn't actually my hyper Vigilance that kept me safe That actually was quite a deterrent it Kept me in my head a little bit more Than I should have been Um it kept me in a lot of anxiety trying To predict The future Fear is a thief and it takes the past And IT projects it into the future and It's a self-fulfilling prophecy and it Robs you of the only opportunity you Have to create meaningful change which Is right now and if you can't show up Right now nothing's going to change in Your life and so what mindfulness is What meditation is what being present is What paying attention is is the ability To step into the moment right now in Real time and have a real influence on Your life And I realized the thing that kept me Safe wasn't my hyper vigilance looking Back on my life what kept me safe was my Willingness to transmute pain into Beauty The willingness to say pain is Unavoidable none of us get out of here Without it it's not the point of life The point of life isn't to avoid pain
It's a waste of your energy it's a waste Of your time The point of life is to transmute pain Into Beauty so that we can be truly Resilient and what is true resilience Beautiful wow
