Getting to Know Our Protectors | With Dr. Dick Schwartz, IFS, No Bad Parts

Getting to Know Our Protectors | With Dr. Dick Schwartz, IFS, No Bad Parts

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I know there's tons of ifs therapists And ifs people are there internal Practices that we can do on a daily Basis that just allow us to move towards More of a sense of of because I feel Like so much of our Persona gets built Up around pain right I don't want to I'm Gonna appear confident because I don't Want to look weak or I'm going to appear Smart because I don't want to look Stupid or so there's this way in which It creates this chaos and I'm wondering Uh besides kind of more the therapeutic Are there practices or orientations that We take that allow that to soften Somewhat so we don't have to Try to hide and also try to present this Image yeah Yeah we have a goal of trying to bring This out to the public sort of like a Mbsr kind of thing where Um People can do a lot What we just did most people can't do by Themselves some people can it's amazing I can't but Um people can get to know their Protectors Like even just going and showing Appreciation to this guy that you Thought was such a drag you know Initially you didn't like them And then he he feels good because now He's seen for how hard he tried to save

You and so on yeah that's a big shift in Itself yeah even if you don't go to the Exiles yeah I think a lot of people we Try to get rid of things like I want to Get rid of my anxiety right I don't want To be anxious exactly and so I'm going To like figure that out and I feel bad When I am anxious and you're presenting A different totally different and With uh My heart and my throat I'll make a dig At the spiritual Community because this Is where we are the ego becomes the Enemy in this community too often And the ego is just a bunch of these Little protectors who are deserving of This kind of love and appreciation Rather than being the monkey mind that You're supposed to dispose of yeah so With that anxiety is you're suggestion To almost thank that anxiety like thank You so much for but I see the anxiety is Creating havoc in my life so how am I Supposed to thank it for creating havoc In my life if we had another hour I Would help you do that But just in general for the people here The orientation is whenever you're Having an experience it has a purpose Whether I get I get angry a lot or I get Frustrated a lot that there's something There and if I give it attention not Necessarily a purpose now But it served a purpose it tried to

Protect you at some point in your life Right okay and now it may be Anachronistic now it you know this Anxiety isn't necessary anymore but the Part doesn't know that because it's Still frozen back there got it so we go With open curiosity compassion Here at secret history of how it got Stuck in that role yeah carries the Burden of anxiety and then we helped it Unload the anxiety But if you're yelling at it all the time Or you're you know you're irritated with It all the time it's just going to get Stronger can you do this with political Leaders who might not uh they gotta want It okay because it seems like our Culture is built around creating Personas out of trauma right we get hurt And all of a sudden I'm going to become The successful person or this powerful Person or this whatever person and to be Able to understand that and tap into it But it never quite satisfies it yeah Right no matter what power we get what Accomplishments we get whatever we get There's still that you can imagine the Exiles in our current president yeah you Know when I see him now that's what I See yeah and then he's got these Protectors like his my understanding is His brother drank himself to death and To save himself he took on the energy of His father which hates vulnerability so

The big his biggest protector and then He's inflicting that on our country Right but it really was just to save his Life right right it had a purpose at a Moment he needed it saved his life right And now he's stuck with it as is what we Call the Legacy burden right until we Bring awareness to it and bring Gratitude to it and hear it witness its Pain seems like the hardest part when You always know that process was like Can you just witness his pain like Really Like I don't it's so hard that's Everybody's reaction first because we All have protectors that don't want us To go back there yeah what's the point Why should I grovel in that right right So we have ways of of I'm basically a Salesman so I'm selling Hope to these parts that there's Something some good reason to go there Yeah because we're not going to grovel It we're going to get them out of there And unload this pain right so these Protectors don't have to worry about Anymore and is that when you look at Things like addiction would you say Addiction is a lot of these parts that Are misunderstood that are acting out if We can better understand them we can Actually give them what they need but They're trying to fulfill something in The addiction that is yeah has a purpose

Or you know has makes sense if you yeah I'm starting to collaborate with my Friend Gabor mate and I love his line Which is don't tell me about your Addiction tell me about your pain yeah And so we go to the addicted part And listen to how much it saved your Life how much it's You know when we come along and say just Say no The part says screw you because if I Stop doing this Suicide is the next protector on the List yeah he's going to kill himself if I don't do this job for him so I'm Helping him so we honor The Addictive Parts for their service And then ask if we could get them out of His pain in a different way would you Have to keep doing this addictive thing Right the answer is almost always no but I don't think you can do that Right would you give me a chance to Prove that we can because we absolutely Can So right and you found that with the Addictive behavior you can actually get Into that and then the addiction doesn't Need to happen because the part is Actually getting getting witnessed and Seen yep wow


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About the Author: James Quinto

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