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Foreign You've studied a lot about how to Actually transmute pain and make that Something that turns into Beauty and I'm Wondering if you can say a little bit More about what that process is for you So when there's a hurt or somebody says Something hurtful to you now or your son Screams at you and tells you you're the Worst mom ever if he hasn't done it yet Comes at some point and so in those Moments of hurt What is your particular process that you Feel is helpful to you to honor that Hurt and also have a different Expression Or is it more organic and hard to Describe Um I like being hard to offend I'm a very flawed person I'll lead with That that was one of my biggest concerns When I got signed to a record label was A lot of people use art as propaganda to Make themselves seem more perfect than They are Because they're afraid to show that They're imperfect thankfully I learned While I was homeless that my Imperfection was my source of safety Being vulnerable and getting rid of my Armor Made Me Stronger and made me more Safe because armor drowns you at the end Of the day you just die under the weight
Of your own armor And so I was able to begin my career With this idea that the more vulnerable I am the safer I am the more honest I am The safer I am And the more I look at myself the more Uncomfortable I am I love that hmm Because it means something's up it's Like a little neon sign and if we can Just rewire our brains to go if I'm Offended yay What's going on with me what is that What is that what part of me is offended It's a little neon sign and we have These neon signs that are built into us That become these flashing light bulbs Going look here look here I need healing Look here and so I've just learned that When I'm uncomfortable when I'm in pain When I'm offended When I have a really strong reaction When I want to Bow up I get really extra Curious and curiosity is just a very Beautiful tool because it disarms Everything It's not having judgment it's not Blaming yourself it's not blaming the Other person it's just putting a little Bit of distance between you and your Brain in real time and going that's Interesting there's a neon sign telling Me to look here look here and so I begin To see it as a positive not a negative Um I also grew up in nature and watching
The rhythm of nature the tide comes in The tide goes out the storms come Through the storm passes You know the job of a tree again as I Look at this analogy of hardwood trees If the tree was to grab onto every bit Of weather it would pull the tree down So our job is just to notice the weather Our job isn't to hang on to the weather And let it up Brutus and pull us down That isn't our job it's not our business Um Death is beautiful I have died so many Times in my life I have had so much Death in my life I have so much grief in my life That I've learned to see such a poetry And such a beauty that it actually Brings me to tears talking about it Because it's the opportunity to reinvent Yourself And we have the opportunity to redraw Ourselves and to course correct over and Over and over and over and pain is the Eye-opener that a lot of people need to Have that opportunity to be what I call Broken open you can only be broken if You're closed if you're already open you Can't be broken So every time life breaks you open say Thank you I'm going to be broken open to The best of my ability I'm going to Grieve hard at anybody else is grieved And there's Beauty in it and so every
Time there's a death in my life I really Look at that as this opportunity to just Let myself grieve don't avoid it you're Just going to prolong the inevitable It's going to last longer so just get to The Grieving get to the dying get to the Pain experience it don't try and avoid It See what you have to learn from it what What brought you there in your life Because I created it I created most of These deaths in my life a lot of them And then it's also rebirth you know the Dark matter in the universe that's Expanding our universe is ever expanding I love physics It's not nothing Dark matter is the fabric of creation Death is the fabric of creation you're Being pregnant with yourself so every Time you experience a death in your life Every time you experience Pain in your life it's the fertile Ground from which you rebirth yourself And to find poetry in it and to spend Time writing and going okay I'm dying And I'm in a lot of pain and a lot of my Brain and my emotional beings dedicated To that but there's also a corner of my Brain and my heart and my being that Feels a glimmer of excitement because on The horizon there's a new meeting Getting created and who is that new me What is that woman who is that person
Who is that being what does she long for And starting to ask myself those Questions and getting very curious so You're living two lives half of you has A foot and death But another poor part of you has a foot In rebirth and looking at that as an Opportunity so that we don't stay Addicted habitually to our pain so we Don't say addicted habitually to our Healing But that we can get on to being whole And When I went through this process with my Mom Was in my 30s I realized I was not only Broke but I was in debt after making Hundreds of millions of dollars Was shocking and horrifying and Realizing manager and mismanaged your Finances well I can say I mismanaged my Life okay Mismanagement happened yeah Yeah uh And not only that but just the Betrayal Of who I thought my mom was the Relationship that was a fantasy that I Thought I was in I was in a fantasy Relationship and I had to grieve the Fantasy of the woman I thought I That loved me and then I had to grieve The realization of who the actual person Was and come to terms and re-examine my Life and see what was real what wasn't I
Had there's a lot of brainwashing it was An incredible experience to go through I was uh I took two years off for my Career I just stopped And I went by the mirror one day and I Saw myself in my reflection and I Literally it just felt like somebody Took my brain and it was glass and it Just shattered into a million pieces and I didn't know how to heal And I didn't trust anybody to help and So I was very by myself in this and I remember this Joseph Campbell uh Allegory of the golden statue I don't Know if you've ever read it where there Was a a village and they had a golden Statue and there was a warring tribe Coming through And so they covered the statue in mud so They nobody would know its value And They it succeeded the tribe came and Left and the statue remained but people Forgot the value of this golden statue Because it remained covered in mud and Generations passed and people just Walked by this cruddy muddy statue Until a great rainstorm came and it Revealed that the statue was made of Gold For some reason when I looked in the Mirror I went oh I'm not broken I'm just covered in layers of and Mud and hurt
And that doesn't belong to me But it's not who I am And my job isn't to fix myself my job is To do a very loving archaeological dig Back to my true nature
