“I’m Angry She Won’t Protect My Emotions” | Doing “The Work” With Byron Katie

"I’m Angry She Won’t Protect My Emotions" | Doing “The Work” With Byron Katie

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Foreign What did you write okay Um so maybe I should preface by saying The thing is I could have written two of These one for her and one for me because I partially think it's possible the Reason we're in this conflict is because I am a bad person right so I this is the Sheet that I filled out for the person Um so what did you talk about I wrote About a teacher of mine I'm also a Therapist and I'm in a clinical seminar Um where I am angry with Because let's leave the name out of it Oh excuse me I'm angry with her with her Because color Um Michelle that's not her name because Not only will she not protect my Emotions when I'm attacked but she Blames me for trying to protect myself So she blamed you for trying to protect Yourself is it true It was true it's a yes or no yes okay so And and I'm gonna hold you to it so if You take this work home with you because I held you to it you'll be able to hold You to it at home just one syllable yes Or no so she blamed you Um For trying to protect yourself So listen very closely close your eyes And be there Where are you are you in our office are You I'm in a classroom you're in a

Classroom Um I'm crying and there are tears and It's not running down my face and I said Excuse me I need to go get Kleenex and When I came back she said that it was Privilege of me to leave It was privileged of me to leave that I Shouldn't have left when I'm Uncomfortable not everyone has the Privilege of leaving when they're Uncomfortable She was blaming you for trying to Protect yourself can you absolutely know When she said those words that she was Blaming you For trying to protect yourself No No so you hear the words Yeah okay Now notice Emotionally what happened when you had The thought she's blaming me I felt very attacked very scared I Wanted to run out of the room And notice how that's affected your Relationship toward that classroom the Teacher the students Very distancing yeah Very disconnecting So now close your eyes and see you in That classroom you see you there And she's saying what she said But just notice who would you be what Would you be without the thought she

Blamed she's blaming me she blamed me And just hear her words I would be much more empathetic to what She's trying to tell me So she's blaming me for trying to Protect myself turn it around I'm I'm blaming her I'm blaming me for trying to protect Myself I'm blaming myself for trying to protect Myself When you try that on what do you see Maybe I don't Um maybe I'm not engaging as fully as I Could be because I'm putting up too many Walls Maybe I'm blaming her for trying to Protect herself So see what it feels like when you drop The maybe and get really still in it and See it as opposed to Guessing So see you in that classroom other than What you're thinking and believing are You okay Yeah so look at you Other than what you're thinking and Believing Look how Look how well everything is without your Judgments on it Yeah everything's fine without the Judgments yeah And you're free to cry with stuff

Running down your face and you're you're Okay without your judgments you're free You're free to come back with your face All cleaned up just listen and get what You came for which is to learn Right yeah Okay So let's look at statement two I want her to acknowledge my hard work That acknowledges that I deserve to have Comfort and to admonish others for Attacking me and to comfort me So let's see if I have this right you Want her to acknowledge your hard work And that you deserve to have comfort To comfort me as well and to that you Deserve to be comforted that I deserve To be comforted I want her to comfort me I want her to acknowledge that I'm Trying hard and I want her to admonish Other people for attacking me okay so You want her to comfort you yes okay so You see you in the classroom you see her You want her to comfort you is it true It was yes and look at it now do you see It now that you see her you want her to Comfort you No I kind of want her to leave me alone Okay and notice what happens when you Think the thought you want her to Comfort you and she doesn't she's just Running her classroom teaching To your exit yeah no I feel needy I feel

Like a little child demanding things That I don't need to demand yeah So Let's turn it around I want her to Comfort me I want me to comfort me Yeah you're handy dandy there you are Right there with you So so how would you comfort you Um maybe I can reassure myself that I'm Not a bad person that that's the main Thought that goes through my head when All this goes down So I have a solution would you like to Hear it I would love to The way to comfort you may be in that Situation and I learned this from you is To acknowledge your hard work Hmm Yeah and to know that you deserve to be Comforted You were emotional How do I do this in the moment if this Happens again you you know you can't but Because we're doing this You know the simple directions are in There with you somewhere and you're Closer to them that's very true What about this last piece though I want Her to admonish others for attacking me That seems problematic And I don't want to admonish her for Attacking me That's how to comfort you

I don't want to admonish anyone I don't Want to be bothered by it no Very comforting yeah Practical Okay So when you turn around turn the holder In I don't want her to acknowledge my Hard work I have me and she's teaching I want to acknowledge my own hard work Yeah do you want her to stop the course That you signed up for To acknowledge everyone and comfort Everyone We don't have time for that and be your Your Watchdog that keeps people from Attacking there's not a lot of teaching That's going to go on there that's right Okay sweetheart so let's look at Statement three I want you know there's another one I Want me to acknowledge her hard work I do want that so read it that way the Whole thing I want to acknowledge her hard work True and to acknowledge that she Deserves to be comforted yeah I want to Comfort her I think that's true yeah that's so much That's like you Yeah This the southern is so against your Your true nature that it's it's it's off And we get so lost in it and and I live In these worksheets we can get found

Because we're dealing with our sane kind Self and clear Direction here with our Higher self really yes yes So let's look at the next one She shouldn't blame me for taking care Of myself She should comfort me she should Acknowledge that I'm trying hard she Should realize that I'm choosing to be Here and I could choose to leave Okay so she was blaming you For taking care of yourself listen to Her words Is it true she was blaming you for Taking care of yourself No no Isn't that isn't that yeah Yeah when I sit in these words it's just So good you feel that I really do I feel relief it's like we Shift from victim to power Yeah and nothing shifted but the mind The teacher didn't change no one changed Just shift from victim to power wow From where you sit anywhere you sit on a Plane a train a classroom That's incredible it's true So turned around I shouldn't blame me I shouldn't blame me for taking care of Myself but that's what really happened Isn't it yeah yeah I think I um Yeah I think I had many thoughts after About how I should have held it together

I shouldn't have become emotional I Shouldn't know this I just you know I Maybe shouldn't even be in this class Yeah and the truth is you should have Become emotional You know you you felt your feelings They've they've I wouldn't I wouldn't stop my emotions for anything They have a right to life Yeah And and I'm good with it I love life everything has a right to Life So Um She blamed you for taking care of Yourself how did you react the moment You believed that thought notice what Happened so close your eyes and you saw Images of past future and then you felt The emotions you were upset This has happened before This will always keep happening I'm this Sort of person who somehow elicits Punitive action in other people Yeah I'm a bad person yeah and you and You see those images and you put that Storyline on those images and then you Just feel rocked I feel doomed damaged yeah yeah Unlikable this will always keep Happening I am unlikable So turn the whole thing around I Shouldn't blame me for taking care of

Myself I shouldn't blame me for taking Care of myself I should comfort myself I should Acknowledge that I'm trying hard I should realize that I'm choosing to be Here and could choose to leave You're free But I choose to be there yeah I'm going To continue choosing to be there yeah it Doesn't always feel free if I dropped Out now it could be well it's what You're thinking and believing other than That you're free that's true And you know whether we're we're in a State of mind to be aware of it or not On You are blaming you for taking care of Yourself And in those moments you don't know that You're there to comfort you or how Let's turn it around another way I Shouldn't blame her I shouldn't blame her for taking care of Herself yeah and her job and her job Yeah I should comfort her I should acknowledge that she's trying Hard and this is difficult I should realize that she's choosing to Be there and she could choose to leave Too Okay these truths really override the Ego don't they yeah yeah It's like

Being in a forest and just being so lost In it and all of a sudden the light just Shines through and it's like oh No longer lost I think I realized something about Number five just now when we got there In order for me to be can I move to Number four for me to be happy what do I Need her to think say feel or do I need Her to tell another classmate that she's Being unfair I need her to praise me I need her to Ask about my feelings okay So she was being unfair Listen to her words She was being unfair is it true Felt yes Okay it felt that way but you can hear Her words now Listen to her words She's being unfair is it true I don't know so I guess I can I Absolutely be sure now so what did she Say again Um Someone made me cry Unfairly and when I went out to get a Tissue someone made you cry that someone Made you cry or did she just see you Crying I think she noticed okay it was a class Discussion okay when I went out to get a Kleenex and come back she said Um

You shouldn't have left it is a Privileged thing to do other people Don't have the privilege of leaving when They feel uncomfortable okay so was it a Privileged thing to do In that classroom do what are the what Rules does she have Um I don't know what rules she has I don't Know okay so now you know Now I know yeah don't go out and get a Cleanup she's an instructor in this Classroom It's a privileged thing to do when You're feeling emotions to get up and Leave Without did she say without permission Or just if she did and she just said get Up and leave okay so that is a privilege In her classroom so on when you sign up For someone's classroom they're going to Teach So everyone got to learn that Maybe for the very first time as well Okay Yeah I guess there's no objective Privilege out there it's whatever you Define it to be in the classroom And what was the last thing she said Um the last thing she said there are a Lot of things the privileged things too It's it's privilege to have the luxury To get up and go bring a Kleenex it is Isn't it

Sure I have kleenex around some people Don't have kleenex around but you just Get up and leave it that's what you want And not change it is a privilege yep It's true So she was really pointing out what you Already knew it's like we're just kind Of catching up with it Okay true yeah you know when we're in a Classroom and we really listen then There's never I mean our opposition just has to fall Because we're really there to learn So we're sort of saying it's not a right To comfort myself and wipe my snot away It's my privilege I think it is and yeah And yeah it is a privilege it's a right And a privilege It's a right and a privilege That's true yeah That's true I guess what I was hearing Is you don't deserve to take care of Yourself but she didn't say that that's Very good you are catching up with Yourself Oh my goodness I think you have found The culprit here That was you telling you that And that's okay unless you believe it But you believed it Now that I'm thinking back I think she Even said I understand that you had to take care Of yourself but it's a privilege to get

Up and get clean up Rear remembering things Um Okay So Praise me I should praise myself perhaps Yes Ask about my feelings maybe I should Inquire into my own feelings yes maybe I Should ask about her feelings yes after Class Unless you want to just pull out another Privilege right What about and then she would give you Some more feedback but it would be off Course It would have to do with the classroom But it would be off course and you Signed up for on course That's true yeah but after class What about you should tell this other Student she's being unfair I don't think I should tell the other student she's Being unfair that doesn't sound like the Right so so there's no one there since This is all self-talk anyway turn it Around I should tell me I should tell me that I am being unfair Unfair maybe I am we'll drop the maybe Are you Yes good yeah good because maybe we'll Leave your ego at play Really check it out I don't know if I'm being unfair it

Sounded like you were being very unfair To yourself Yes That's true So when I when I turned things around I Just kind of try them on like that that Pair of boots I'm trying these what does That mean to me You know I'm being very unfair is it Being unfair To myself It's also possible I wasn't fair to the Other student I don't know okay so check It out maybe that's another worksheet Yeah yeah I don't know and well if you If you um laters you contemplate this if You if you were in any way Then there are ways of making amends for That and not even getting found out if You don't want to do it face to face and If you can do it face to face that's Really that's a really good thing Because it gives permission to be it Gets people in your authenticity as People permission to be authentic in Their lives And that's not the point of it but it Does happen that way I tend to take a lot of blame in this Classroom I'm afraid that I'll continue taking Blame and it'll just pile higher and Higher but But I guess if I'm able to do the work

About it it doesn't really matter and The work is free onthework.com how to do It everything you just go there there's YouTube all kinds of stuff there and and You know how to do this because we've Set together and and you and you're You're good at it your mind is very open That's a gift So I need her to tell Um the other classmates that um She's but she is being unfair turned Around I need me I need me to tell Myself that I'm being unfair Yeah And I need me to tell my myself that she Is not being unfair I need to tell myself that she's not Being unfair and you can do that Honestly because you've discovered that She's Not being unfair Right Right I need me to praise Um maybe I need to I need to praise her And I need to praise myself yeah and Where you can praise her is right here You know because she didn't say what you Believed she said She deserves more credit than that yeah Yeah And I may need me to ask about Um ask about my feelings I need me to Ask about my feelings yeah so you can Sit in that and just have an amazing

Time to see what brought them on but What bring the feelings on is your Thoughts about you know Are these thoughts that you're writing Down here Okay so um let's look at the next one She is a bad teacher She's a bigot she's stupid She's hateful a terrible person and Racist you know what I what I love about This is the you know you've really Collected your head and put it down And I hope you've all done the same Because there's so much in it you know Those people that say those things You know it's like maybe I don't say it But am I thinking it so this gives you An opportunity to just empty yourself on Paper to realize yourself in just Filling in the worksheet So she's a bad teacher in that situation Is it true When you consider what you've discovered Here no You get it I got it And she's a bigot Is it true That I don't know about but what is your Definition of big end Um I I suspect she may dislike that I am A Jew Again uh that I'm Jewish okay so so do You have any idea that she is even aware

That you may be Jewish she's aware okay So Um and what has she said or done that Would lead you to believe that she's a Bigot Um I've been dismissive of my statements About recent threats against Jewish People in the states and Um I've been seemingly uninterested in Talking about my background whereas She's interested in talking about that You said seemingly you're right interest I don't know it's my suspicion so she's A bigot is it true I don't really look At it Can I know it I can't know it very good No She's stupid is it true no no if if she Really is get out of that class He's not hateful either she's a loving Person She's not a terrible person Another word for bigot she's racist is It true I don't know for a fact no and you know Some of us will use the word racist and And for some of us until we we think we Know what that means but we just see These images of what it means But keep a dictionary close it could be What the dictionary says and what you Think it means are different even though You're positive you know what the word

Means But always match it because these are These are you know words matter So she's a racist Is it true you can check it by your own Definition and then look at the Dictionary what does racist mean to you And we heard a little What does racist mean are we asking what Does racist mean to me Um I I'd like to take that one back you know Bigot was enough yeah yeah Now she's a bigot And a racist okay Notice what happens to your attitude Toward her the moment you think that Thought and believe it It's very blaming it's very distancing It's extremely judgmental Um It categorizes her as an evil person When I don't really know that that's the Fact And just feel what that feels like to Sit in a classroom with someone that you Believe that onto like there's the body That object And then you believe that onto that Object and you're in their classroom and You want to raise your hand and you have To you know how do you react you have to Be careful about your wording you have To

Manipulate you can't just spontaneously Raise your hand and get the question out Also how do you react when you believe The thought When she is getting just clear Instruction about privilege You take it on like The way you took it on How did I take it on well no you took it On the way you described Yes so she's a bigot and a racist Yeah who would you be in that classroom In that situation Without those thoughts Much more at ease Much less guarded much less Defensive less racist Less racist bigoted bigoted yourself That's very true Less concerned with these differences So she's a bigot and a racist turn it Around in that situation I am in that Situation I'm bigoted and I'm racist Yeah I can see that yeah Toward the Jewish people Toward the Jewish people maybe I don't See it Well you're thinking of that like it's Not okay Right Hmm like it's not okay to be Jewish From someone else's perspective yes I see I mean what you're putting on you

Imagining under her is you putting it on Jewish people It sounds interesting That's interesting Um even though there are those Sentiments out there maybe not with her But well I would check it out out where Out in the you know the bomb threats to The JCC this past week you know is that Not real well you know I'm leaving those Things to you They don't have no I don't know why People bomb people I don't know that no well if you Believed what they believed you would Bomb people to That's probably true so the clearer you Get the less teachers you're going to Bomb in your head And it starts Here Because anytime anyone puts you in Charge if you're at War here You're not going to do that well out There You're not going to you're not going to Be your maximum beautiful self Hmm Yeah I'm the one who's focusing on these Thoughts yeah yeah You know the in in my world there are no There there are no Like Jews or whatever the you know there are

People and how I believe them to be and It's never going to get any better than That Foreign Do you still think you're Jewish honey How about the rest of these you think They apply to me in that moment because I feel like they might so let's take it Let's take a look Stupid and hateful okay so in that Situation where is it that you were Stupid on out of your understanding of Stupid in that moment Um I wasn't able to have a more Objective meta perspective of the Situation I was blinded by a whole lot Of thoughts I did not know things I did feel hateful so that's Clear and you were on like Bigoted toward her right it races toward Her and yourself Right and and your judgments of her Your judgments of you Made you feel specifically your Judgments about you made you feel like a Terrible person yes and when you judge Anyone as a terrible person You're going to feel that way as well But you were blaming two of you Yeah that's resonating that's true and That's hateful And stupid And a bad teacher for yourself

Yeah because every time you think and Believe it if you don't question it then You know that's the education you're Giving you Yeah I understand that When you're when when you're believing Your your thoughts You are educating yourself And that is your reference toward you The human race and the only way I know To break that spell is to meditate on is It true You know when you when when those Emotions arise and you're feeling you're You're feeling anxiety or a depression Or a sadness identify what you're Thinking and believing capture it on Paper And then meditate on those four Questions and And Opposites Okay Precious let's look at the um let's Look at the last one Um I don't ever want to feel helpless to Feel wronged to feel unfairly blamed and Unable to protect myself made to feel Like a bad person And I can tell you looking back in my Life I have never been wronged Not once been wrong and I'm really Researching this one I just always Researching it okay so I'm willing to Feel helpless

I'm willing to feel helpless Um I'm willing to feel unfairly blamed I'm feeling willing to feel unable to Protect myself yeah That I've been willing to feel unable to Protect myself You know feel that hopelessness Because that kind of hopelessness You feel that and it automatically just Says worksheet work you know identify What you're thinking and believing and Get this squared away or you're just Enforcing that identification you know Who am I I am I am helpless I am wronged I'm unfairly blamed this is my identity So we're really Were really breaking identity down so in A way we're almost saying I'm willing to Feel this way because I have to because If I avoid I have to in the moment it's Going to be there regardless yes Well you you have to feel it when it Arises but if you're awake to it and That's what this work does if you're Awake to it you actually experience like Laughter that doesn't show to other People it just looks like you're in a Good mood But laughter Where prior to that you just experience Depression and and that what you Described you know that helplessness So I'm willing I'm willing to be made to feel like a

Bad person So I look forward to I look I look forward to feeling helpless Yeah because it's another worksheet it Is I look forward to feeling wronged It's another word another worksheet no One can wrong me how could someone wrong Me You know when if I have a certain Identification and someone wrongs me They're actually writing me Just like you discovered in the Classroom you thought she was wrong in You But she was teaching just talking about Privilege right According to you So people write me but if I I believe They wrong me then I'm going to put this Identification onto them and I'm not Going to have a happy life So I I break that trance through you Know the truth sets us free So I look forward to Um I look forward to being unable to Protect myself I look forward to being made to feel Like a bad person yes exciting isn't it Yes a lot to learn because those things Are so far off when you look to your True nature until mind matches true Nature it's not done that's the end of Separation and it's the beginning of Life on this planet it's it's just a

Whole new It's a whole new way of being it's where Solutions are are It's life without problems Just life lived out of wisdom This has been gone on since September I Wonder what would have happened if I Started doing this like months and Months ago you know well just wonder What's going to happen now I do wonder About yeah be willing to and look Forward to it I look forward to every Attack thought you've got honey towards You or the world Yeah you are beautiful and believing These thoughts Don't allow you to realize it Thank you thank you the precious You are beautiful so wonderful And they have to come and do this

Author

  • James Quinto

    James is a content creator who works in the personal development niche.

    https://quietmeditations.com james.quinto@quietmeditations.com Quinto James

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About the Author: James Quinto

James is a content creator who works in the personal development niche.